i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
