I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love having hate sex.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
