Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
