Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
