May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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