I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
