I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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