dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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