Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
