What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
