Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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