Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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