why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
