You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just gift wrapped bread.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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