By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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