how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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