About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize