How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize