We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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