C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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