You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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