I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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