Jerry, you need to find god
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
