Soap is not a condiment
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
