this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
