remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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