I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
