I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
