Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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