North Korea, Best Korea!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I understand Curling. That high.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think my nap took me to another dimension
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
