Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
