He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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