Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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