i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
