also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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