D3 body, D1 cock
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
