kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
