You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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