I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He has the fingertips of a God
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
