I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
