I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I need moral support for this bender
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
