I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
