I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
