Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
