I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
