I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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