its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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