I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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