Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
