We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he fucked my hip out of place.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
