jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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