His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
