How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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