Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
