anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
