So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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