I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
false alarm. still invincible.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
