well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
