While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Randomize