I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
