Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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