i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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