i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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