I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
someone threw a dead crab at me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize