I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
